ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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