ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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