ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You received 40 fundraising texts today.
Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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