ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something.
It landed. Enjoy that. It's the last thing this week that will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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