ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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