ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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