ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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