ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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