ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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