ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been quiet".
You weren't. You were just talking to nobody.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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