ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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