ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 10 AUGUST 1994
You're "so random".
You've told the same "so random" story at every party since 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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