ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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