ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soft launch was a hand in a photo.
The hard launch never came. The hand has since soft-launched someone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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