ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The bins are now fortnightly.
The council tax is still monthly.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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