ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your squad misses you, says the notification.
Your squad is four strangers and a retention dashboard.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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