ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English language.
Then they renamed it. The sentence survived.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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