ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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