ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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