ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You hyped your mate's mixtape.
You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including your mate.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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