ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You received 40 fundraising texts today.
Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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