ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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