ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 5 AUGUST 1995
Inside every older person is a younger person.
The younger person is furious about the knees.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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