ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen.
It will still be on that wall long after your name is off the door.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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