ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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