ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 11 AUGUST 1997
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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