ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You quit your job to "find yourself".
Found you. You're on your parents' sofa, and the Wi-Fi password has been changed.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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