ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 13 AUGUST 1997
Coffee doesn't fix Monday.
It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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