ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 1 DECEMBER 1997
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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