ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You bought the yoga mat.
The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible, more mindful and better liked.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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