ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every company now has an AI assistant.
It's the only member of staff nobody's asked to come in on Fridays, and the only one getting your job.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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