ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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