ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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