ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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