ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 23 AUGUST 2000
They posted an apology in the Notes app.
It was addressed to the fans. The person they hurt didn't get a screenshot.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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