ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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