ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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