ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every great company started in a garage.
Yours will end there too. The car's been living outside since launch.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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