ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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