ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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