ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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