ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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