ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious.
Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it to Tuesday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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