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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION MONDAY, 6 JANUARY 2003
You quit your job to "find yourself".
Found you. You're on your parents' sofa, and the Wi-Fi password has been changed.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
  2. You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
  3. They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
  4. AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
  5. Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
  6. The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
  7. Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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