ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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