ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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