ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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