ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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