ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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