ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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